me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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