i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
