I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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