we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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