doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
