At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize