he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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