Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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