It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
