A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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