I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
