they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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