Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
