Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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