Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize