Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
