I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
