i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
NoShamevember. You game?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
