If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
