He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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