Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
