bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
