she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
