I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
