Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
