You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
