Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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