By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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