barbara walters just said penis...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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