HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
