My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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