thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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