last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
