Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
