PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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