We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
