i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
