i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
