The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
