I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
