If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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