You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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