Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
