What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
