youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
