I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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