i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
