Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
