do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i don't like sucking hair
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
