is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
