So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
