woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
