Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize