I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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