Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
