they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
