absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
