and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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