walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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