Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
