I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
