My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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