It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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