You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize