so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
