If that was your dad, he is hot
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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