You really coming over, don't trick.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
