today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
