All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
