would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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