You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
