apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
